Knowing When to Back Out

Recently, the family has taken up Kayaking. We load the boats on the roof rack and head to the nearest water (flat or gentle current, thanks!).

Kayaking rocks! You can’t get closer to wildlife, quietly paddling up to deer taking a drink on the riverbank. You displace mere inches of water so you can traverse very shallow waterways motorboats don’t dare tread.

Tim, my hubby, taught me to paddle and reassured me about running upon obscured underwater debris. At first, the thought of getting stuck on some submerged mystery junk creeped me out. Tim, in his very laid back way of quelling my fears just said, “You are going to run up on something and you’ll feel it. Don’t worry about it. When it happens, just use your paddle and back out.”

On one of our first trips, we travelled into a shallow, murky inlet. Once we were half way in, our paddles touched bottom and stuck in silt when we barely dipped in. We had to dig in and back out. It took seconds and I felt so much better once I was free floating and mobile again.

Since then, I’ve had to back out a few times. I’m more confident about exploring shallow areas. I’ve run aground on a sandbar trying to get close to some canada geese but dug in and backed out. Hey, I even managed to maneuver up to an overhanging blackberry bush and eat some ripe berries.

So how does this relate to design and freelance? I’ll tell you my story. I had a client last year who was rather eager to sign me up for a long-term contract that would require me to travel and put very long hours in away from my home and family. I really wasn’t sure if I had the resources to take on this added responsibility. I worried that this very demanding client would make my work for other long-standing clients suffer or even disappear. There were so many other warning signals I can’t begin to enumerate.

It took me a lot of contemplation about the pros and cons of this job — what the hidden cost of it might entail — to make the decision to turn it down. I sensed it was time to dig in and back out.

The client railed against me, they were incensed that I turned them down. Somehow, they had thought I’d be attracted to the money (not!) and the potential for exposure (in a market that I was already trying to back out of!). Sadly I even got some hate email from the client. It only reassured me that I had made the right decision.

A month after I had backed out of the bad business decision, I was hospitalized with acute mono that attacked my liver and almost took me out of the game completely. My entire world stopped short for months while I healed. All my freelance, full-time and other work screeched to a halt. Those long-time clients who cared about me put their projects on hold in anticipation of me getting back in the saddle.

It’s been more than 9 months since that ordeal. I don’t regret a thing. I made a conscious decision about not taking on a job that would have probably destroyed me. I lost what I thought was good client material. Turns out, I’m better off without them. I have my health back, my life is way less stressful and my work has improved and I’m moving in a direction that I really want to go in.

I’m in free water again and able to navigate clear on through.

Fishin’

This was a summer themed cover illo for the Mid-Atlantic SCBWI summer edition newsletter. The final piece has a masthead and text superimposed over the center part of the composition (thus the space in the composition). I will post the image with text from the final newsletter as soon as it is published.

Storm approaching

I recently finished this spot illustration for the SCBWI newsletter. It is for an article on Point of View in writing and how the POV the character has should be reflected in the choice of descriptive words. All this, of course, is greek to most folks, but to illustrate this, I chose an image of a character, in this case, a WWII era child viewing an approaching bomber. The idea was partially fueled by a story my seventh grade english teacher, Mrs. Patrick, told my class years ago. She was a young girl in the UK during those war years and remembered the terror she felt when she saw the German Luftwaffe planes. All these years later, it came in handy. Thanks, Mrs. Patrick, wherever you are!

Cherry blossom

Just another little watercolor study I’ve been playing around with. I’m experimenting with some techniques.
TT

Sirena

requiem

This has been a sad week. The close of March closed a huge chapter in my family’s life. On March 31st, we lost my father-in-law after a five year battle with the enemy, cancer. He was a wonderful, warm person, who never met a stranger. Popsie, you’ll be missed so much. Your loss has put even me at a loss for words. No words can soften the blow or fill the great void your passing has left.

In memory of my father in law…who was more of a father to me than my own…

Winston Douglas Traylor
September 14, 1943 - March 31, 2008
Husband, Father, Grandfather, Brother, Friend

 I can’t help but remember this poem by Emily Dickinson:

Safe in their alabaster chambers,
Untouched by morning and untouched by noon,
Sleep the meek members of the resurrection,
Rafter of satin, and roof of stone.

Light laughs the breeze in her castle of sunshine;
Babbles the bee in a stolid ear;
Pipe the sweet birds in ignorant cadence -
Ah, what sagacity perished here!

Grand go the years in the crescent above them;
Worlds scoop their arcs, and firmaments row,
Diadems drop and Doges surrender,
Soundless as dots on a disk of snow.

~Emily Dickinson

one ring to bind them…

loverly…betrothal ring designs for a couple of neat people I am fortunate enough to know.

a reminder…

‘nuf said…

TT

ten things…a quick list

I admit taking my cue for this from my fav illustration blogger, Penelope.

So here’s my list of ten things to be happy about right now…(how’s that for being positive?).

1. long walks in the warmer weather
2. my sketchbook
3. a new wacom tablet
4. completing projects that have been hanging over my head for months
5. seeing the first robin (come on Spring!)
6. my warm, fuzzy cat curled up purring on the footstool
7. cinnamon oatmeal and watching the Upside Down Show with my son in the morning (it’s hilarious even if it is a kid show)
8. Kimya Dawson’s music and the entire Juno soundtrack
9. red zinger tea
10. spiritual growth (developing a closer relationship with God)

The weather has been completely nutty here and my allergies are kickin’ in. It makes being positive a struggle when you are coughing and struggling to breathe (not something one should take for granted). I did notice the first robin of the warm season yesterday afternoon and had to take a very happy mental note as he marks the beginning of the season I love best and the ending to a very long, dark winter during which I was deathly ill.

Getting dangerously close to one’s own mortality can be a life-changing and humbling event. Trust me. So here I am, alive and enjoying what I have right now. That’s not an easy thing to do.

Cheers to all of you!

TT

Artrage experiment

Just my first cut at using the software Artrage to digitally “paint” one of my drawings. I kinda like it. It was hard adjusting to the radically different interface (I’m used to Photoshop…love CS3!) but hey, it had some features that I couldn’t get in the beloved CS3.
This was a drawing I did on the fly, from memory…thinking of Ellen Page as Juno….just a fun sketch to kill time.

So, there it is…and man, is it late at night, almost 1 a.m. and I’m wide awake scribbling on my little tablet in front of the tele (Food Network…what else is on?) So pathetic. I have to get to bed…peace out!

Originally uploaded by NewLeafCreativeWorks